I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
