Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
