So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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