areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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