Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Never joke about your clitoris.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
