honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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