the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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