I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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