Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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