I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize