I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
