Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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