lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
