Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
