White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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