Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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