Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
