I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
