It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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