He is an equal opportunity slut.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
