sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
