the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
