i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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