I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
