No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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