I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize