so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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