a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
