Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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