Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
well you can't waste a boner
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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