For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
