I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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