A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
