You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
