I wanna passion pit in your ass
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
