Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
