I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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