There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
