Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
