god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize