walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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