my mouth tastes like poor choices
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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