I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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