How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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