hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
