So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That accounts for only three of the penises
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
