Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
