the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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