There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
