Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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