Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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