This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
