Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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