So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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