How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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