worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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