i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
