ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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