belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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