So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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