So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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