You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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