Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
