just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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