this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
